| | It's all catching up to me... I AM BEAT!
This whole being a working mom thing is NOT all it's cracked up to be. If I had my way, I'd be home with Caroline all the time. But unfortunately, that's a distant dream that is put off at least until we move to NC and probably beyond that, at least for a little while.
My job is so draining! I can see why the burn-out rate is three years. It is hard work. And not only are these kids ED, but they're in 7th grade! The absolute MOST dramatic age in the history of the world! I can think back to being 12/13. My Lord, were the hormones raging! Thank God we have no girls in our class. I honestly think that would just send them all over the edge. But back to my group... NINE 7th grade boys. There is always a fight brewing. Some looked at someone else the wrong way and that person said something about their mom and then they called another person gay... and so on and so on and so on... It's exhausting! Now, don't get me wrong, they are quite entertaining at times. They have all won me over and I adore each and every one of them. BUT on days like today... when three of them had to be restrained and I had to restrain two of those three. GEEZ! I am feeling the burn-out.
So, all I want after a school day like that is to pick up my daughter, come home, enjoy some one-on-one time with her, put her to bed and watch TV until the hubby gets home. But does that happen? NO. I get to the babysitters to find Caroline in a horrible mood! She was bit on the nose by her best friend, Fin and she has a huge bruise covering one side! boo! Then she cried the entire way home. Not just cried... SCREAMED! Oh my gosh! My head was pounding! We finally get home, I put her in her chair to eat dinner. This went smoothly until she grabbed the apple sauce cup out of my hand and flung it all over herself, her chair and the floor. SIGH. Can't a woman get a break!?!?
Once I hosed her down, we came into the living room for a little play time... which lasted all of 5 minutes before she started to scream again because I wouldn't let her crawl around on the couch. (Her new favorite activity!)
Finally, I'd had all I could take. I got a bottle, took her upstairs, put her in her pj's, fed her, read a story and put her to bed. She went to bed about 20 minutes early, but she needed it and so did I.
I love being a mom and I love my job... but man oh man I need a vacation from life. I definitely have a new-found respect for my mom (and all of those other mom's out there) who worked and raised their children. I definitely did not give her enough credit (as most children don't) at the time and I am sure that I would have never realized just how hard it must have been for her until I was in her shoes. I just didn't know I was this strong. I can only hope and pray that I can stay strong throughout this time, until *crosses fingers* I can be a stay-at-home mom! (Which I am definitely not saying is easy!)
I always say I want to have another kid, but I just don't know how I could work and have two children to take care of in the evening. I'm not sure I'm that tough. But I probably would have said the same thing about myself a couple of years ago thinking about where I am now. Life is funny like that... we always learn to adapt, don't we? I am proud of myself for the job I am doing. I try my best and I guess that's all I can do.
Maybe I'll start writing again more... this felt good. |
| | Posted 1/28/2008 6:50 PM - 112 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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) children. No lie...they go to my church. One night during corporate prayer, she shared that people often ask her how she can handle 10 children. Her answer: one at a time. God gave her the patience for one. Then when it came time to have 2, he gave her the patience for 2. And so on and so forth. I thought that that was a great answer! She didn't have the patience for 10 children all at once! God met her need in a timely manner. So when it's the time for another little Erin (or a little Andrew) to be birthed into the world, then the patience and strength will be granted for 2 children.