| | I read a lot of blogs. It kind of started with one and then expanded over time. In a way, people who read blogs but don't comment (which is exactly what I do most of the time) could be classified as a mild form of a stalker. HA! I do not consider myself a stalker, but I feel odd commenting on people's blogs that I don't even know. Fear of rejection, maybe. who knows. Anyway... blogs were not my original point... rather, a particular blog I read today about the NYC Marathon. She wrote about her husband participating and her attempt to navigate the city. In the end she decided that no matter how much she had considered the possibility of living in New York, the weekend confirmed to her that it was not a place she could call home.
This triggered so many thoughts for me. I realized, as I was reading this and thinking about my time as a resident New Yorker, that I have now been away from the city for almost 3 years! THREE YEARS! wow One year there and almost three years here. If you would have asked me in January 2004, as I packed the car and moved all my junk to my new life in the Bronx, where I would be now, I never IN A MILLION YEARS would have thought it would be here. I always dreamed that New York City would be it for me. That I would discover this incredible life there. That a city I always found so fascinating would become normal, every day life for me. And, I guess, in a way it was for a while. If you could call my time there "normal."
I guess the point of this post is to think about where I've been and where I am now. I look back on who I was at Liberty and who I was at graduation and who I was in New York and even who I was when I first moved to this area. And I must pat myself on the back for a minute and say that who I am now is the person I am most proud of. I have truly become a mature woman and I think, after years of searching, I have found meaning and purpose in my life. This may have been God's plan all along. To give me a wake-up call. To show me I needed to grow up and stop living so selfishly. There are certain people from my past who, I believe, would not even recognize the person I have become. And there are others... those people who have been there through every bit of my past and continue to be there in my present and will most definitely be there well into my future. Those people... my mother, my father, my cousin, my fabulous girlfriends, who I miss more than I can even express... those people "get it". They see me... though possibly in different ways, as some may know more or less than others... and I hope that they are proud. I hope that I have shown growth in all aspects of my life.
I am thankful for the things I have known in the past... I know that those times where my decisions were below everyone's expections of my life (especially my own) will/have only made me a stronger and more knowledgable person. I can only pray that it will make me a better wife, mother, daughter, friend and counselor (when the time comes).
Thank you God for knowing what we can handle and using our mistakes to teach us about the person you ultimately want us to be. |
| | Posted 11/6/2007 5:19 PM - 44 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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